Welcome to the Jordan Hater Club

 

Dear Angry Moms: 

Hello.

For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Jordan Burch.
But you may know me as the “IF YOU SERVE YOUR KIDS LUNCHABLES YOU ARE A TERRIBLE MOTHER ” screenshot.
JORDAN BURCH LUNCHABLES MOM

 

While this definitely was not my finest moment, before I get to that, I’d like to ask you to take a moment of your time and get to know the person behind the unending ridicule, memes and hateful comments stemming from this post.

I moved to this little town of Pace, Florida from West Pensacola in the fourth grade and it was absolutely life shattering.

Pensacola and the small baptist church I grew up in–the one where my grandpa drove the school bus and my Grandma taught Sunday school–was the only life I had ever known.

My grandparents did everything with me and for me. I was never alone.
I had lived with them for most of my life and even at age nine, I still slept with them nightly.

Moving to a new town that my mom’s new boyfriend lived in was super scary, especially since she didn’t have the best track record with men. However, my mom was very firm that she had to get me “OUT” and “AWAY” from my current living environment. At the time, I had no idea what it was we were trying to escape from.

At my new school, kids had cheerleading uniforms and football jerseys.

They had all grown up together. Their families vacationed together. (I had never even been on a vacation).
They lived in gated neighborhoods with pools and were allowed to listen to rap music.
Their moms were nurses or teachers and their dads wore business suits.

Most of all, many of them had two dedicated, loving and involved parents. 

I stuck out–and not in a good way.
Wasn’t really sure of my race.
So much so my mom let me “choose”’my nationality whilst registering because even she wasn’t sure what to “mark” me as. 

No college team.
Never been a cheerleader.
Never been to a nail salon.
Didn’t own a single Bath and Body Works lotion. 

I was no one. And for the first time in my life I felt truly LOST and alone. 

It was then though, seeing a new world of opportunities in a town where no one knew me, that I decided to suck it up and just become exactly who I needed to be in order to fit in. 

My new neighbor Tana was kind enough to let me wear her “old” cheer uniform on Fridays like all the girls did. You can imagine how that went over…

All of the girls made fun of me as I made my way to walk the track before school started. “UHM, YOU ARE NOT A CHEERLEADER! That isn’t even this year’s uniform, it’s the old one FROM LAST YEAR!!!” I was shattered.

So my mom did what any good mom would do and signed me up for cheer.

Although she could never drop me off, or pick me up, and I was frustrated that other girls’ moms volunteered, brought snacks and chauffeured me while I listened to them plan their annual trips to Disney…she did her best to make sure I had the same shoes, socks, bows, warm up gear…the works. 

It still wasn’t enough. I began to beg my mom to buy an SUV like the other moms had, because her two door Mustang she’d worked incredibly hard for wasn’t a cool vehicle for the rare occasion she was able to come and watch me cheer.

How could she haul me and all my friends to lunch afterwards, like the other moms did in their suburbans? And while I tried as hard as I could to fit in and be like the rest of them, it was the day she picked me up from aftercare in fifth grade and witnessed my desk covered in tears that she decided to have the ”big” talk with me. 

She whisked me to the Ford Explorer SUV she had just purchased, started it up and then left it in park. 

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU JORDAN?

YOU ARE IN A GOOD SCHOOL. 

YOU ARE STARTING CHEER. 

WE BOUGHT YOU SOME NEW SURFER SHIRTS. 

YOU HAVE PAINTED TOES AND BATH AND BODY LOTION. 

WE HAVE DINNER EVERY NIGHT AS A FAMILY. YOU HAVE A HOME WITH YOUR OWN BED. 

WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?” 

“Mom…they made a ‘Jordan Hater Club.’” 

“A WHAT?” she exclaimed.

I told her again, sobbing uncontrollably. 

“They turned the playhouse at the playground into a ‘Jordan Hater club’ with a sheet of paper and told me I couldn’t come in. I will never be good enough to fit in here! I want to go back to grandma’s!”

What she said next was something that would stay with me for the rest of my life.
Much different than what most would probably do if presented with the same challenges in today’s society.
But I am forever grateful for it. . . 

“How other people treat you has absolutely nothing to do with you.” 

 & although this isn’t what a ten-year-old whose entire life was just uprooted wanted to hear…it was what I needed. 

She would repeat it in sixth grade, when the first time I made the honor roll and sat down with a table of girls in the lunchroom to celebrate “ALL A’S” and every single girl immediately moved to another table as soon as I sat down, so I would have to sit alone.

Or in eighth grade when my computer lab teacher told me the boy I was dating was too good for me, and that I “really needed a pedicure.”

And again in ninth grade when a group of eleventh grade girls called and left horrible voicemails on my personal answering machine about how I was such a worthless sl*t for not saying yes to a guy who asked to take me to homecoming (One of whom now helps chair a “Mom’s Collective” in our area with her own young children).

She’d express it again as a 21-year-old with my first “real” job, when I found myself as the constant target of ridicule from an upper female manager who told me I could not have a successful career and be a great mom, “so to choose wisely.”

And she has told me COUNTLESS times since.

What I never understood all of those times she expressed this sentiment is that my mom had dealt with worse…so much worse.

You see, my mom came from nothing.
She met my biological father whilst working at Waffle House, right up the road from my grandparents. She was molested her entire childhood…something she never shared with me until I was much older in hopes it would never negatively affect me.

I found out the truth about my real dad in late elementary school.

We just learned how to search for child molesters in our neighborhoods from a local policeman who had come to the school and I decided to type in my last name just for fun…(something I wouldn’t imagine they do any longer now either).

& up until that day, my family had let him be a “good guy who just made some bad choices,” but one who still sent Christmas presents.

BUT from that day forward he was not only my biological father who maybe made a few small mistakes.
He was a repeat felon.
The crimes?
LEWD,LASCIVIOUS ACT CHILD UNDER 16, Statute: FL031

It changed my life.

But, life went on. I’d navigated up until age 21 the best I knew how, but once I had two children of my own, a husband, once we moved from low income apartments to our own little house in a culdesac, I decided to stop trying to fit in. To stop worrying about what everyone else had, and what they were doing and thinking. I would still NEVER be enough if I continued to view everyone else as so much better off than I was, having had such a better start than the one I was given.

I decided then, that I wanted to create an amazing family, the one I had always dreamed of.

I decided then, that I would always put them and their wellbeing first and live in my truth so they could proudly embrace theirs.

– – – – – –

This week, there is a new club, launched ON MY BEHALF known as the
“BAD MOMS CLUB” or the “MOMS WHO FEED THEIR KIDS LUNCHABLES CLUB.”

It’s spearheaded by people I went to school with, people I have worked with as clients, people who are parents to kids that my kids know, along with hundreds of complete strangers whom I’ve never met and who don’t know more to me than 2 screenshots and a comment section full of mostly well-deserved bashing of all of my shortcomings on this long road I have walked to find happiness.

When we met for coffee this morning, my mom sat me down and said “Are you ok?”

“Never better” I told her, and I meant it.

“Mom, I’m not that girl in fifth grade anymore who doesn’t know who she is, what her worth is or if she belongs in this world.”

My mom teared up, “But that is who you are to me. My tender-hearted girl who just wants to be loved.”

When I posted about Lunchables, I was doing what I usually do on social media.
What I have done for years and years. 

I was sharing my opinion, ranting about life–the world right now, how hard it is to keep my husband and my kids happy and also be cute while running several empires. . . I spoke of how I loved wide trousers now and how I am looking forward to taking my daughter to NYC this year…and how getting a vaccine card to be able to get into shows just seems ludicrous.

BUT I WOULD DO IT.
I would go and get the vaccine.
((only after a CBC))
For me.
And for her. 

I digressed on my instastory, as to how wild it was, that a Government who has shut down an entire economy for a virus and a vaccine, would allow a disease (heart disease) to continue to spread rapidly killing more than 50,000 people per month.

“Could you imagine” I wrote “If we treated THE NUMBER ONE KILLER IN AMERICA, LIKE WE ARE TREATING COVID?”
Like instead of “NO VACCINE, SORRY YOU CAN’T EAT HERE” saying “I am sorry, you are obese? You can’t eat here!” 

Instead of the in-context post of how absurd I thought that would actually be, a single screen shot was made that convinced unknowing people that I was a fat-shamer– & someone who didn’t believe obese people should be allowed to eat in restaurants.

“And then we give lunchables to our kids every single day with enough sodium to kill them, but now here I am, a TERRIBLE mom for not being vaccinated or wearing a mask, meanwhile, they are far more likely to die of heart disease from a poor diet than they are covid.

So now… IF YOU FEED YOUR KIDS LUNCHABLES, YOU ARE A TERRIBLE MOTHER.”

Another Screenshot. 

– – – – – –

The basis of my post was that people are dying…but they won’t stop.
There will always be death.
The vaccine, while good willed and intentioned will absolutely save lives, BUT IT WILL NOT STOP DEATH.
Many of us will lose loved ones in the coming future, if not from COVID, then from something else.

Statistics prove this. 
SO much so, that in 2020, more than 700,000 people died of heart disease. It is BY FAR the leading killer, even during a global pandemic. 

More than DOUBLE that of respiratory illness deaths.
HEART DISEASE, IS ALSO MOSTLY PREVENTABLE.

But there is no vaccine and no pharmaceutical company fighting to cure it.
And that got me all worked up, mid conversation. . .

Why can’t we save us all?!?!

When Jason and I were young,
we lived on less than 40K a year with two small kids, and for New Years, we gave up FOUR things: Soda. Mcdonalds. Lunchables. Hotdogs..

“I can’t do everything, but I can do something” was my motto
and so we eliminated them.
It wasn’t easy.
Or the most affordable. But it was something we both felt we could and should commit to. 

& we did.

At the time raising two small kids, both working full time, trying to make ends meet,
I’d had NO IDEA how terrible lunchables actually were for my kids’ health. But then I researched, and I learned. 

& I TRULY THOUGHT in a moment of discussion,
that by sharing the information, it may help another mom, who had no idea, like It had me.

That was my intention.

I was sharing my passion for the fact that the Government isn’t going to start posting ads anytime soon saying “DON’T BUY THESE, THEY’RE TOXIC”…even though they are.

& At the end of the day, what I wanted to come across and what came across is not the same.

I am the first to admit that the delivery to those thousand followers was not without flaw.

If I could have a do-over, I absolutely would…so that no one would feel hurt or shameful for how they live.
I, more than anyone, know that hurt. & am horribly sorry for those who truly felt like an unworthy or less than mom for serving their children lunchables. 

But it’s done and today is a new day.
I absolutely own that I said it, and am thankful to all of those who have shared their support in these times.

here is what I ALSO know:

I came home yesterday after a wild day of literally thousands upon thousands of comments directed at me personally.

Comments regarding my own weight, surgeries, my mothering skills, threats to all of my businesses, every wrong I have ever committed and so much more…

…to my anti-social media, completely-ignorant-of-the-entire-ordeal husband who had cleaned our bathroom before heading into work, to “surprise me” having no clue, the type of things I had just endured > > > Jason doesn’t do flowers, even though he knows they’re my love language>>>
& while admiring the clean bathroom, I noticed something on the back of our toilet.
He had taken the time to roll toilet paper rolls into flowers, like they do on cruises with towels.
And just like that, I was brought back to my reality.
The one that matters the very most to me.

I never thought a girl like me could live a life like this one that I have, with a family like my own family. 

Coming from an abused mother, who tried so hard to get me out of dodge, only for me to resent her for it without knowing all the details.
As a young girl, never really knowing what true love was and questioning everything I thought it was.
Feeling so ashamed of the kind of life that I was born into, and thinking that someone like me could ever do more, or be more.

You would NEVER find me intentionally inflicting that kind of hurt onto someone.
But I am human and I can only take so much of people pushing me into a corner and feeling like those same people haven’t considered what their own public jabs without recourse have done to me…

I have seen everything from discussing my miscarriages to posting comments about and photos of my own children > > > & just like most everyone, I have certain triggers that make me throw my “bigger person hat” down like a real savage and make even more comments I know I may wake up to regret.

But thanks to soul searching, my incredible husband and family, solid friendships, lots of counseling and growing up, I am here.
Right here.

A real person, with real thoughts, feelings, opinions, problems, and more.
BUT THIS IS THE PLACE that I have always wanted to be.

I do have a loving husband, who accepts all of me.
Normal me. Happy me. Sad me. Quiet me.
Facebook drama me (even if the latter is his least favorite).

I have Wonderful, healthy kids who are kind to everyone they meet.
I own successful businesses that I started from the ground up and fiercely struggled with, only to build them over and over again. I have a network of people, who, even if they aren’t as loud as the others, support me and encourage me to keep going.
((( I LOVE YOU GUYS )))

My life is so, so full.
My heart is so full of joy.
& even in such uncertain times, I’d hate to think that something I said would be the reason someone else
‘s isn’t.

THE ONLY REASON I share my daily life, is in hopes of inspiring someone who feels like they will never have it all.
Or encouraging someone who feels like they don’t deserve it all. 

To that fifth grade girl who has no “club”, the ninth grade girl who has “no purpose” , that businesswoman who is facing her first real “failure”, the mom who can’t figure out how to be everything to everyone without sacrificing who she is…

I simply want to say to them, if I CAN.
You can.
If I can overcome all of these things in life.
So can you!

But unfortunately, when the visibility of what I choose to share on my social media platforms, that’s meant at the very minimum to inform, starts to actually disrupt the wonderful world we’ve worked so hard to create within our own family, it is very easy to choose which one I’ll let go of and it is without a doubt, a platform, that I never truly asked for in the first place.

I am going to continue, to just do me…and be me.
I am always learning.
Growing.
And yes…failing.

I was made from hard times and I know that the plan for my life is far greater than teaching the world about how little nutritional value lunchables have, even if that’s been one of the biggest ones yet. 

Thanks to those of you who never wavered in your support.
It truly means more to me than you will ever know. 

& for those of you who didn’t know me, now you do.

JB

JB

 

 

  • Kelsey - For awhile, you drove me nuts.
    Then I did some heart work and realized why. You now, at this stage in your life have sooo much of what I’ve always wanted. Then I realized… how can I have such a loathsome attitude towards someone when they are simply doing what I want to be doing?

    The reality. I can’t. It’s wrong.

    I took time, I stepped back and let go of the frustration of not being there YET*.
    Instead, I’ve shifted my view of you, to see your a real person, first off, and that you don’t live a pedestal in my mind. You are now one of a select number of women I look to for encouragement and as a reminder to keep going. Even if I don’t have all the money and things I need to make it happen right now or even by x age like so and so.

    It will happen. In just the right amount of time. And my story will be exactly what it’s meant to be, it won’t be just like yours or anyone else’s. I’ll have my things that I do totally different from you and others.

    I want to continue to see you succeed, because the more success you reach, the more I can see myself doing too.

    The whole world doesn’t know yet, but I’m a momma to be now. And I can say without a doubt I never planned to feel my kids lunchables. Or foods with too much red 40 or cereal or blah blah blah. I’m a steward of my home, it’s my job to make sure what comes in is wholesome and good. Things that are meant to nourish and not cause problem later on. Am I perfect at this already, HELL NO. But I refuse to allow myself to fall into blissful ignorance.

    You are a stellar creative, business woman and a badass momma.

    Keep your head high! Thanks for speaking the truth even when people don’t like it. I plan to do the same!

    Much Love + God Bless

    Kelsey
    PhotographerReplyCancel

  • Anna Weaver - Love you, Jordan. You are a good mama, a good wife and an amazing business person. Don’t let the haters get you down. 💕ReplyCancel

  • Victoria - I relate to you, somehow. I was angry with you yesterday. I didn’t post anywhere or give you a bad review because that’s stupid. But after reading this, NO ONE deserves the lengths that people went to talking about your heartbreaking miscarriages or your children and family. I’m so sorry for that. There is no such thing as a perfect person JB. God works in mysterious ways. I wish you a full life of happiness and peace. Just be careful with how you say things is my only ask ❤️ & pay kindness forward always.ReplyCancel

  • Gemma Gatdula - Hi Jordan!

    I first met you (gorgeous in your red dress) at a Gulf Breeze Chamber of Commerce Gala some 10 years ago (even longer?) you were with the Portofino Group, and I was with my husband, Jojo. My employer at that time were serious about maximizing our chamber membership by encouraging me to attend every event/meeting where I can talk about our service. Although I’m always excited and grateful for the opportunity to meet and get to know people, I am awkward at initiating introductions and small talks – I’m better at forming and maintaining lasting relationships. Surrounded by amazing people dressed in their “gala formals” that evening was exciting and intimidating at the same time – THANK GOD Jojo and I were assigned to sit at the same table with your group and the group from Envie. You made everyone comfortable by initiating the introductions around the table, you kept the “small talk” going around the table which included Jojo and I. You even offered to take our picture, now deemed priceless, as every JB photo should be 😊, it is also the only pic I have of us “looking pretty” since that was the only GBC gala Jojo agreed to attend with me, “just not my scene”, he says! We learn to compromise. 😊
    I was in awe of your courage, confidence, and warmth; traits rarely seen in action from one person. You had on a fancy dress like everyone else that evening but there was nothing “fancy or bougie, conceit or FAKE in your actions and words that evening, and all the other times we met. 😊 I’m wishing for another wedding soon since that seems to be the only time, we get to see your lovely self 😊 I admire your decision to apologize to those you have “offended” despite the fact that “truth hurts” – Yes, talents and skills comes with a huge responsibility especially when it comes to sharing your thoughts and insights but do not forget that they are simply YOUR thoughts, not a reflection of who you truly are! Thank you for staying honest, continue to be an inspiration to all by keeping it REAL, that’s what we admire about you!
    I want to share these words from Emma Watson as they made me think of you!
    “If you truly put your heart into what you believe in, even if it makes you vulnerable, amazing
    Things can and will happen”
    It’s often easier to melt into the crowd than show off the things that set us apart. But those are the very things that can be our strength. Being authentically you and showing your vulnerabilities isn’t being weak but being beautifully human. Let your soft spots show. Honor your unique dreams and experiences. Live by your strengths. We all have fears and flaws that fight to hold us back, but when you stand before them with courage, you’ll shine brighter than you ever thought possible.ReplyCancel

I needed the job at the hospital because they paid for my school if I committed to work there when I graduated. I’d only earned the 75% in state scholarship and the grants for a “single mom” weren’t enough to cover the other 25%, plus my books, plus rent, plus my car payment, plus food. 

Jackson was only 2 and Jason had been nice enough to use his perfect credit score to help me get my “dream” mom car which was a Ford Expedition. 

12 MILES TO THE GALLON

The only problem was, I couldn’t afford the gas to drive it to and from our low income apartments to the hospital downtown, where I needed to put 40 hours in, at my slightly-over-minimum wage job. 

So I applied for child care benefits. 

If I coupled that assistance with my Pell grant assistance and also worked full-time while going to school full-time, I might break even every other Friday.

There’s nothing quite like seeing a $0.00 balance after working two weeks, because you owed your bank $600 in borrowed money and $200 in overdraft fees. . . 

Jason was working 10 hour days, weed eating on the side of the interstates & then going to school at night, and I was certain my “new” job in oncology was the start to a new and better life. 


(he never wore sunscreen working outside, and his skin always looked like this)


The day I dropped Jackson off to that daycare, he started sobbing, begging me not to leave. 
But I had to. 

My new manager had offered to let me park my car at her house, not far from his daycare so I could ride to & from work with her, so I’d save the gas.  ((thanks K!))

“The government wouldn’t cover daycare weekly at a place that wasn’t safe” I told myself &  nine long hours later, when I finally picked him up, he was still sobbing.

He didn’t eat dinner. 

He cried when we bathed him that night, pleading to not go back. 

It’s as if he was traumatized & even if he wasn’t, as a mother, 
I was. 

I hated myself. 

I hated our apartment. 

I hated that all of his bedroom decor was on a target credit card that I’d convinced my grandma to get, that I would never be able to pay her back for. 


(lit Target decor circa 2009, thanks GIGI)

I hated that the doctor I worked with didn’t run insurance on a close friend he was treating, but that a young mom with cancer died a few weeks later when the cancer overtook her, and we’d never failed to bill her insurance for every penny owed. 


I hated that at my new job, I came in earlier and stayed later than almost everyone in our office, and made far less than everyone, too. 

My kid deserved as much time with his mom as my co-workers kids did & when they were able to leave early for practice or came in late from doctors appointments, I was angry. 

But I knew it would take years of sacrifice to get to a place where I could afford that kind of freedom. 
Tenure, if you will. 

The time I’d have to trade would be all for nothing, as he’d be practically grown by then. 
But that’s how it works for most of us. 


The people at the bottom have to work the hardest and the longest for the least amount of money with hopes that one day they’ll work far less and for far more, but only if they  give it their ALL for the next 10, 15, 20 years. 

It’s the unwritten code of life. 


I remember when another mom I was working with, put her baby in childcare at six weeks old.
You can hardly give a puppy away at that age.”She won’t remember it,” she’d said. 
“And if it all works out, by the time she is old enough to know, I’ll be able to take her to and from ballet, pay for a vehicle to get her from point A and to point B, buy the tutus, leave work early, and so forth.” 

But chances were, she wouldn’t. 

The odds, weren’t in her favor. 

I know that, because that’s what my mom thought too. 

The thing about corporate America,
is the more they “give” you, 
the more they expect. 

When you can finally afford ballet lessons & the suv, you actually owe much more time and energy, so much in fact, that you have to have someone else take them and pick them up from ballet, while your suv sits parked because you’re stuck on a conference call until 6. 

The “middle class dream” was my life as a child & although I was thankful, I decided early on that I didn’t want that future for my own kids.

& ever since that government-funded daycare experience,

I swore I’d make my own decisions and make my own rules…
ones that always put my family and their future first.

 

(APARTMENT LIFE)

Jackson was in that daycare for less than one month before we were able to afford him private daycare.

No one gave us that > > > we worked our asses off for it. 

We were in our low-income apartment for less than a year, but only after I convinced one of our friends to go in with us on a rental house, which we shared until we could finally afford to buy a house of our own a few years later. (thanks meme)  

(IN ONE OF OUR FIRST RENTAL HOUSES
MY LOVE OF A GOOD GALLERY WALL EVIDENT, EVEN IN THE EARLY DAYS)

Some people now call me “entitled” after reading things I’ve written, not knowing just how hard I’ve worked to earn that backhanded diss. 

It’s literally my benchmark for success from those who don’t know me. 

It’s been said “It’s more fun to laugh in a kia than sob in a Lexus”
but I NEEDED to know what it felt like to smile in a Mercedes,
as I drove my kids to their private school,
Starbucks in hand with nowhere to be and nothing to do > > >
& let me tell you something > > > >

it.

feels.

amazing. 

Maybe you’re someone reading this whose never sobbed, dropping off your entire world, to a government-funded daycare, just to go and work a minimum-wage job with a couple hundred negative in your bank account. 
That’s ok.

Or

Maybe you’ve never driven a luxury car up the driveway of your dream home, furnished with white linen sofas, monogrammed hand towels & a pantry full of healthy snacks. 
No big deal.

I’VE DONE BOTH.  

& the point of all of this is, 

if I can go from there to here, 
you ABSOLUTELY can too. 

But PLEASE hear me when I say if I have learned ANYTHING on this journey this far, it’s this :::

I don’t need the house. 
Or the car. 

I only thought I did. 

All I’ve ever actually needed, was the reason, 
and as it turns out, I have had them all along. 


At first it was only one. 
Than two. 



Then I married him. 




& it became three. 
& now I’m up to FIVE of them.

 Because THEY deserved it. 
The best & only the best.


 

When I decided to NOT get an abortion at 17, people told me I was crazy and ruining my life.

When I decided to quit my third year of biology and my job at the hospital, for a high paying “risky” summer job, people told me I was crazy.


When I decided to quit that six-figure sales position with full benefits,
to spend more time with my family and work on my own hustle (a photography gig),
people told me I was a complete idiot.



&& don’t even get me started on what people thought about me buying an overgrown, mice-infested, no ac, or hot water hunting and fishing camp in the middle of Chumuckla, and turn it into an incredible wedding venue > > >



BURCH HOUSE ON CLOSING DAY

So whatever your questions are, 
about why I’m doing whatever I’m doing>>

simply know this,
that it’s the same as it has been since that day at drop off > > >

I am doing the best for them, that I know how” 

& tbh, 

best looks a lot different than it used to 

XX
jb

JORDAN BURCH SHEDS 80 LBS AND OTHER PEOPLES OPINIONS OF HER

“Compulsive eating leads to isolation, self hate and a powerlessness over food that can make one’s life unimaginable.

The first time I experienced an eating disorder was in high school.

I tried to throw up my food, but I’ve always hated puking, but at the time it felt like all the skinny girls were doing it–binging and purging.

It was having your cake and eating it too, but throwing it up before it had a chance to go to your hips.

My fall back became pink laxatives, though each time I took them and then found myself unable to leave the bathroom, I swore to God I’d never ever take them again if he’d allow me to not collapse into the toilet as I was dry heaving, cold sweating and wishing I’d never swallowed them to begin with.

I had my six-month follow-up from my first pregnancy and was still 20 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight & my OB asked (unprompted by me) if I wanted some pills to “melt that stubborn fat away”. I remember the nurse looking at me when she handed me the script at checkout and saying “I can’t believe she wrote this for you at your weight!” yet I took it as a compliment and headed straight to the pharmacy to fill it.

Unfortunately Phentermine and extreme ADHD and anxiety did not mix well.I paced our apartment for about an hour before I decided to take Jackson on the fastest bike ride he’d ever been on. I thought my heart may actually explode but for the first time, food was the furthest thing from my mind…& that was a feeling I loved. 

Throughout my first initial dose of Phentermine, I was a raging psychiatric mess but I didn’t care because my pants were a size 2.
It took me passing out when I stood up, climbing out of a tanning bed to realize skipping all meals and eating Phentermine probably wasn’t a long term solution for maintaining my “ideal” size.
My OB refused to fill a second script anyways.

“Diet culture uses food restriction to try and fulfill the human need of belonging and fitting in.”

I’ve ran to food my entire life. 

I grew up at ALL YOU CAN EAT Chinese buffets, on fast-food and in the summer, endless amounts of fried mullet followed by vanilla ice cream and fresh blueberries.

My grandmother wasn’t a stellar cook, but grandpa loved to eat out and that meant that six nights a week, (or when he didn’t catch any mullet) we ate somewhere where kids ate for free and they ate as much as they wanted to.  In a sense, growing older, I was super proud of the fact that I could eat anything & everything I wanted and (prior to kids) it didn’t have much of an effect.

Some girls were ordering salads or drinking bottled water by middle & high school or they were purging and vomiting, but not me!
Life was too short! && food was too good!
((++ if I overdid it or started to feel bad about it, I could pop a pink pill!))

I loved eating so much, that in the 6th grade, I ate all of the fried chicken in my friend’s fridge late at night, while we chatted up boys on AIM, not realizing her mom had bought it for Sunday lunch the next day.  I was mortified when we sat down “for lunch” and she searched for the nonexistent box of chicken she knew she’d bought. 

The truth was, I had no idea how to eat as an adult.
& even now, I am still learning.

Instead of food being for nutrients needed for survival,
I had been cheered on my entire life to “GET OUR MONEY’S WORTH”
So that meant lots of finished plates, gorging, seconds and thirds of desserts and more.

It meant eating to the point of being miserable.

I didn’t know how to cook or meal prep.
I didn’t once as a child eat salad.
My family generationally (females) were all obese /  to morbidly obese & I clearly wouldn’t be any exception to the rule if I kept it up.

Unfortunately, once my metabolism slowed and the weight started piling on, I found the harder I tried to control my binging, only made my eating worse. Here I was, mom of 4, multiple successful businesses and while I could control all other aspects of my life, food owned me. And I hated it.

My grandma couldn’t control her eating and hadn’t modeled habits. So my mom didn’t.
I didn’t model habits, and now here I was, doing the same thing to my young family.
Fast food breakfast. Fast food for lunch.
Super big dinner.
Fast food for dessert. . . .

Repeat. 


I’ll never forget one of my male business partners saying to me once at a luncheon, “Girl, you’d really HAVE IT ALL if you shed some weight.  I have NEVER seen someone eat like you do! ! ”

I won’t write here what I responded back, but I’d assure you it wasn’t what Jesus would have suggested.

But I had time now.
& I had money, to eat healthy.
Both of which I didn’t have before that, and had used as excuses. 

I could buy and read all the books.
& I did. 

Made to Crave. 

Atomic Habits. 

This is your brain on food.

How I quit sugar. 

Fast, feast, repeat. 

Eating Clean. 

Simply Keto. 

I ordered workout gear & joined a gym*

I couldn’t stop eating though, and by the spring of 2020 I was 195lbs, the heaviest I’d ever been–even during pregnancy.
Still, I couldn’t sit down without engulfing my food as if I’d never eat again. 

I couldn’t have only one piece of cake without sneaking to eat the rest of it in the middle of the night.  Soon, one breakfast combo was no longer enough & instead I’d order it, plus a cinnamon roll to numb the disappointment that would ultimately follow from not being able to stick to my diet again.

I tried fasting, but if  I didn’t eat often, my body would shake uncontrollably.
I’d feel lightheaded & anxious. 

& when I did finally eat, I’d eat double what I normally did.

My husband didn’t understand. 

If I didn’t like the way I looked, why was I making it harder on myself?!
For the record, he never treated me any differently. He never once mentioned my weight gain, but I felt it in our private times alone and I hated that for him, because I had become so uncomfortable with my own body.  * * * *

This is the only way I can describe FOOD ADDICTION / FOOD BINGING for thos who can’t understand.

Imagine, telling someone who is addicted to alcohol, that they should only drink until they feel a buzz and then stop.  

You’d never. 

But that’s exactly what it feels like when someone would ask why I couldn’t stop eating>>>
Why I didn’t  have portion control ? ? ?

Because to someone who is addicted to food and binging and has been since they were born, to simply “eat until they’re not hungry and stop”  IS NOT AN OPTION, at least  it wasn’t for me. 

You can’t live without food, which is why it’s the highest abused substance in America. 

Eat until you can’t feel anything but absolutely fucking miserable.
Then hate yourself for it.
Then do it all over again to punish yourself.
That was the cycle I lived in.

& I couldn’t do it any longer. 

I knew I needed help.

Most people don’t remember the girl in that BEFORE photo.
” I FEEL LIKE YOU WERE NEVER BIG ENOUGH TO EVEN NEED SURGERY”
” I DON’T EVER REMEMBER YOU BEING FAT”
” YOU WERE ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL”
“I NEVER SAW A BAD PHOTO OF YOU!”

Duh! That’s because I didn’t like version. 
I loved myself, but I am human.
& you’ll only ever see here, WHAT I WANT YOU TO SEE.

who would be brave enough to post the absolute worst photo of them, OF ALL TIME, FOR THE ENTIRE WORLD TO SEE AND DISCUSS, IF THEY DIDN’T HAVE TO?!?  

me, until now.
so here are some photos from that same time.
Much better lighting, much better angles * * *
Much better clothing.
Surrounded by those who mattered most.

Same month as the photo above.
Same weight.

JORDAN BURCH WEIGHT LOSS JORDAN BURCH WEIGHT LOSS JORDAN BURCH WEIGHT LOSS JORDAN BURCH WEIGHT LOSS JORDAN BURCH WEIGHT LOSS

THE PLAN

 

My mom had gastric surgery when I was 18 and was the first one to encourage me when I mentioned that I was considering surgery.

I’m far from ashamed and also don’t feel like I owe anyone anything, especially regarding my private health.

But, in a world where it’s literally the only topic at hand, (HEALTH)  I felt encouraged by so many who have already had the same or similar procedure because of me and my success, to share it here for those who need to hear it. 

I want those moms who wondered how I could control my urges and they can’t, to know that I couldn’t…without help. 

It’s absolutely ok to admit you have a problem and need help.

I CHOSE UNTIL NOW TO KEEP MY PROCEDURE TO MYSELF, AND A FEW CLOSE FRIENDS. MY OWN MOTHER IN LAW, SISTER IN LAW, GRANDPARENTS AND MORE HAD NO IDEA, UNTIL SOMEONE WHO I DID TRUST WITH MY VERY PRIVATE DECISION, DECIDED IT WAS IN HER BEST INTEREST TO SHARE PUBLICLY TO MAKE SOME SICK POINT.

JORDAN BURCH WEIGHT LOSS

Here’s a super fun fact.

YOU CAN’T “FAKE” WEIGHT LOSS.

I didn’t open a smoothie shop and tell everyone if they drank my drinks they’d be skinny > > >

I didn’t get paid to advertise some gym and tell my followers that 40 minutes of cardio was doing it for me.

I simply started feeling confident enough after losing 50 lbs, to show my actual workouts (though they were very short lived) as well as what I was consuming daily, for anyone who was asking > > > 

I also didn’t get to tell a doctor “what weight I wanted to be”

I got to have my actual stomach altered through a dangerous and expensive procedure, that would limit my food intake and relationship with food (the longest relationship I have ever had) for the remainder of my MF life,

so that I could live a longer and healthier life not only for myself but also for my family.
not for likes and follows.
I already had those.

Here’s the thing
SOMETIMESSSSS Jesus & Lysa Terkurst aren’t enough by themselves to save you from your worst habits.
I wish they were.

**Our church actually offers a FAITH BASED RECOVERY PROGRAM that uses truths found in Biblical perspectives to help those suffering from addiction. This program is free to anyone who needs it and can help with triumph over any type of addiction. 

But I know personally, if you didn’t grow up having health modeled for you and find yourself at 30 completely addicted to food and binging, it can feel impossible to make a change…..but I’m proof it can be done. 
& I’m not ashamed to admit it. 

I feel bad for anyone who saw me being targeted by so many hateful comments & shares about my “hidden” WLS,  for those who themselves have gone through the process and felt like maybe they were “faking” their weight loss too or unworthy of conquering food because they needed medical help.

YOU’RE NOT.

I only show you what I want you to see here, because not all of my life has to be public.
There are private parts I keep to myself, my husband, within my family and friends.

Take that for what it is worth.

I don’t owe a single one of you any aspect of my life, just like you don’t owe anyone else.  

But I have always strived to be transparent with those who mattered most.
Just because I don’t choose to share EVERYTHING here, doesn’t mean I am hiding it.
In fact, if you were brave enough to ask me to my face, you’d find I am pretty much an open book.

But messages like these?  Where people just wanted to know “my secret” while discussing it amongst their “colleagues?”
HARD PASS

jordan burch weightloss

Heres the deal, I didn’t take the decision to have my procedure lightly but can tell you, that it feels
OHHHHH SOOOOOO GOOOOOODDDD to be the girl at roadhouse who eats only one roll and says, “I’m good, thanks!” when the waitress asks if she’d like another basket.

It feels soooooo good having a husband who is able to throw me around > > >
& also to on occasion, share an appetizer, an entree and a dessert with because I have FULL CONTROL of how much I am eating. . .

It makes me so proud that I can choose fruit as a side item at a drive-thru for my kids because I’m not craving the large fry even more than they are and that I am able to focus more on healthy meals and lunches most of the time, because I’m the one buying them (but also not the one craving them) myself.

It feels AMAZING not being owned by food, even if I needed the help of a skilled surgeon to get there.

IT DOESN’T MAKE MY STORY ANY LESS THAN ANYONE ELSE WHO HAS MADE A MAJOR LIFE CHANGE TO CHANGE THEIR HEALTH.

Here is what I want to say.

Your health, despite what the government says, is totally in your hands.
Last year alone, heart disease more than doubled the total lives lost by covid and continues to be the #1 cause of death in the US by a landslide.

YOUR LIFE IS THE SUM OF YOUR CHOICES.

And I’m NOT ASHAMED for taking mine by the horns, by all means necessary to live a healthier life for myself and my family.

I hope you’re not either.

so,
IF THAT’S WORKING OUT, GREAT.

IF THAT’S DOING KETO, GREAT.

IF THAT’S TRUSTING JESUS TO TAKE YOUR URGES AWAY, GREAT.

IF THAT’S TAKING YOUR ANXIETY MEDS, GREAT.

IF THAT’S PORTION CONTROL, GREAT.

IF THAT’S 80/20, GREAT.

IF IT’S A MIX OF THE ABOVE OR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT, GREAT!

&& also, IF NONE OF THESE HAVE EVER WORKED FOR YOU LONG TERM AND YOU FINALLY ARE READY TO SEEK HELP FROM WHATEVER COULD WORK, I HOPE YOU DO THAT TOO ! ! ! 

People are going to talk about you & HATE ON YOU no matter WHAT you do IN LIFE,
so you might as well do what you want!!! & FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT  ! ! ! !

“If stress can make us sick, it stands to reason that love, laughter & joy can make you healthy.”

For more information on what exact procedure I had, where I had it done, the cost and my detailed journey about the experience …be sure to subscribe to my emails at the end of this post > > >

&& always remember 

“Acceptance of yourself is far more important than acceptance from others.”

IMG_9866

emerald coast closet by design Jordan Burch Master closet

MASTER CLOSET BEFORE AND AFTER

We bought our dream home a few years back.

It had everything I could have ever wanted or needed in a house (or so #dearjason thought) but what is the fun in a new place if you can’t completely customize it, and make it your own!?!?
So far we’ve white washed the entire exterior, painted the entire interior, changed most of the fixtures, painted the cabinets, and so much more. . .  slowly but surely making it into our home. .

But one thing we didn’t touch was the MASTER CLOSETS > > >

Master closet renovation by Jordan Burch with Closet by Design Pensacola Florida for under $5K
I mean, don’t get me wrong. This closet is 4Xs the size the one at the farm and clearly more than enough space for my capsule wardrobe. . . but I hated coming in here to get dressed.
If you haven’t met me yet, my name is JORDAN and I am a SHOP-AHOLIC.
I love fashion and home design and new trends and all things TJMAXX and FREE PEOPLE and LOUIS VUITTON.

In fact, at my first BURCH MARKET a few years back a boutique had setup inside and I remember the night before we opened, just browsing through it, imagining how nice it would be to have a CURATED BOUTIQUE for a closet. . . . .

((and that is where this all began! ))

Sure I knew what I wanted. . . BUT all of the custom closet quotes I’d had over the past few months were $9,000 or $14,000.

Not only that, but they were all 6-8 weeks out and told me to expect 2-4 weeks of construction / demo / install.

The sound of men in and out of my master bedroom and having no closet for several weeks was enough for me to continue putting it off. . .

So like all “influencers” one day I posted a before and after shot of organizing my SPRING CAPSULE WARDROBE and I also posted to the IG world about my disaster of a closet, in hopes that maybe someone would have a better solution than ordering $3,500 worth of parts from IKEA and forcing my husband to spend the next 12-18 months trying to install a basic but cute closet. . .
((since that was the only solution I had come up with!))

That’s where CLOSET BY DESIGN & Vetta C come into play!

Several people DM’d me that they’d had their closets done and that it only took ONE DAY and was under $5,000.
I was pretty sure it was too good to be true but after multiple DMs came in, I decided to call them just to see.

They scheduled a consult for the NEXT WEEK and said they’d send a designer out to help me get started!

Lucky for me, I had a pretty solid idea of what I wanted but VETTA made my dreams come to life!

closet by design Pensacolacloset by design Pensacolacloset by design Pensacolacloset by design Pensacola
Here is what I ended up going with:

THE CLASSIC COLLECTION
which was less than HALF of all the custom quotes I had received, so that allowed me to add on some upgrades to make the closet look even more custom! ! !

ADDED: THE MOLDING PACKAGE (crown and baseboard)

ADDED: THE PREMIUM PACKAGE (adds deeper shelves, bumps panels out, to give custom / finished look)

I ended up not adding the backing, because I wanted everything white, so that just meant we had to take the shelves down, fill in the holes and paint it white (which saved us several hundred dollars)

I was sad when she said they were TWELVE weeks out. . .

3 months to wait for a new closet that we’d just designed in an hour felt like an eternity, but I knew it would be worth the wait!
Thankfully, they had a BUMP up list, and sometimes if new construction isn’t finished in time for them to install, you can get moved up sooner AND WE DID!
NEARLY 6 WEEKS SOONER!

If you follow my on IG (JM_BURCH) you can see the full timeline of the install.
BUT IT ONLY TOOK THEIR INSTALLER HALF A DAY TO COMPLETELY CHANGE MY CLOSET ! ! !

You do have to leave them room in your driveway for them to make custom cuts if needed, but since most of the closets are PRE-FAB the install is relatively simple AND EXTREMELY FAST! !

The best part ? ! ? ! It’s a lifetime warranty! For us, and even if we sell, to the next owners! !
Even better ! ! ? ? You can change it (move shelves / add drawers) as needed, once you start using it ! !
((that’s why we are leaving the holes, as when winter comes and I have more of my boots out, I may want to adjust the shelves!))

I thought I would mind the holes and want to fill them in as soon as they were installed, but they don’t actually bother me a bit!

I AM OBSESSEDDDD WITH THIS NEW SPACE!

I did end up ordering a new light fixture & rug from WAYFAIR and of course had to display all of my fave fashion photos and boxes and such! !

BUT O M G it is 10000 xs better than I could have ever imagined!
I am so grateful to have found EMERALD COAST CLOSET BY DESIGN and MY DESIGNER (VETTA!) ((be sure to ask for her!)) and they’ve also been kind enough to offer an EXCLUSIVE GIFT if you use code : JORDAN BURCH  when buying and RIGHT NOW THEY’RE OFFERING 40% OFF YOUR TOTAL CLOSET PACKAGE! ! !

I love it so much, we’ve already hired them to come back and create custom closets and such for #dearjason’s GARAGE ! ! !
They’re coming tomorrow to draw it out! ! !

anyhow. enough talking > >
I wanted my closet to feel like I was walking into my favorite little boutique. . .
&& that’s exactly what I got! !

FOR A GRAND TOTAL OF: $$3,837 ! ! ! !

(not including light fixture, rug and decor of course which put me closer to $5K!)

YALL LOOK AT MY BRAND NEW CLOSETTTTTTTTTTTT FOR UNDER $5,000 ! ! ! !
& CALL MY GIRL VETTA @ 1-423-994-2531 TO GET ON HER DESIGN SCHEDULE ! !

thanks so much EMERALD COAST CLOSET BY DESIGNS! ! !  

CUSTOM CLOSET UNDER 5K CLOST BEFORE AND AFTER CLOSET BY DESIGN BY JORDAN BURCHCUSTOM CLOSET UNDER 5K CLOST BEFORE AND AFTER CLOSET BY DESIGN BY JORDAN BURCHCUSTOM CLOSET UNDER 5K CLOST BEFORE AND AFTER CLOSET BY DESIGN BY JORDAN BURCHCUSTOM CLOSET UNDER 5K CLOST BEFORE AND AFTER CLOSET BY DESIGN BY JORDAN BURCHCUSTOM CLOSET UNDER 5K CLOST BEFORE AND AFTER CLOSET BY DESIGN BY JORDAN BURCHEMERALD COAST CLOSET BY DESIGN BEFORE AND AFTER BY JORDAN BURCH_0206CUSTOM CLOSET UNDER 5K CLOST BEFORE AND AFTER CLOSET BY DESIGN BY JORDAN BURCHCUSTOM CLOSET UNDER 5K CLOST BEFORE AND AFTER CLOSET BY DESIGN BY JORDAN BURCHCUSTOM CLOSET UNDER 5K CLOST BEFORE AND AFTER CLOSET BY DESIGN BY JORDAN BURCHCUSTOM CLOSET UNDER 5K CLOST BEFORE AND AFTER CLOSET BY DESIGN BY JORDAN BURCHCUSTOM CLOSET UNDER 5K CLOST BEFORE AND AFTER CLOSET BY DESIGN BY JORDAN BURCHCUSTOM CLOSET UNDER 5K CLOST BEFORE AND AFTER CLOSET BY DESIGN BY JORDAN BURCHCUSTOM CLOSET UNDER 5K CLOST BEFORE AND AFTER CLOSET BY DESIGN BY JORDAN BURCHCUSTOM CLOSET UNDER 5K CLOST BEFORE AND AFTER CLOSET BY DESIGN BY JORDAN BURCHCUSTOM CLOSET UNDER 5K CLOST BEFORE AND AFTER CLOSET BY DESIGN BY JORDAN BURCHCUSTOM CLOSET UNDER 5K CLOST BEFORE AND AFTER CLOSET BY DESIGN BY JORDAN BURCHCUSTOM CLOSET UNDER 5K CLOST BEFORE AND AFTER CLOSET BY DESIGN BY JORDAN BURCHCUSTOM CLOSET UNDER 5K CLOST BEFORE AND AFTER CLOSET BY DESIGN BY JORDAN BURCHCUSTOM CLOSET UNDER 5K CLOST BEFORE AND AFTER CLOSET BY DESIGN BY JORDAN BURCHCUSTOM CLOSET UNDER 5K CLOST BEFORE AND AFTER CLOSET BY DESIGN BY JORDAN BURCHCUSTOM CLOSET UNDER 5K CLOST BEFORE AND AFTER CLOSET BY DESIGN BY JORDAN BURCH

 

Happy third birthday Jesse Tucker.

policeman third birthday party birthday blue inspiration by jordan burch_0197

This last year has been the absolute most chaotic year of my life and you’re partly to blame.From the more serious mishaps, like me tearing my acl and not being able to carry you for 12 weeks, to you getting tangled up with some fire ants and ending up in the er, in anaphylactic shock at the peak of covid> > > to the milder yet still annoying ones, like you drawing on my cream linen sofa with a brown marker, and also on the wood trim with a pencil and also killing all of my patio plants by watering them with salt water. . .
It’s been a wild ride.
In fact I am not even sure how much of that happened in the last twelve months or what happened in the last 24, but it’s all starting to run together.
At THREE YEARS OLD
you’re nearly potty trained, but since you have the vocabulary and the height of a 5 year old, everyone tends to forgett (including daddy) that you’re still just a baby.
Except when we’re talking to Joe. . . since he taunts you as the baby all 16ish hours of the day that the two of you are awake.
You’re currently obsessed with policemen and spend most of your time at home writing all of us tickets for littering.
You also do this at mimi’s.
At night you ask for the “corner” of your favorite blankie and you softly caress your own face (or mine, if we’ve had a good day) until you fall asleep. . .
you also make me scratch your back for so long that I end up getting too sleepy to get up, and have been unable to finish most of my work (that I typically finish at night while everyone is asleep, because I’ve accidentally fallen asleep, beside you, with my hand on your back)
You only want Chase (paw patrol) apple juice and you also eat more sweets than just about everyone in our house (except sissy).
Your favorite morning is Friday, because grandpa drops off chocolate donuts which you only eat the tops (chocolate) off of.
((Those also end up on my sofa))
At 3, you also refuse to allow us to put you into the car (or take you out) and you can move your tiny step-ladder & climb up and onto the trampoline all by yourself.
You love feeding the chickens live worms.
You could spend hours in your sandbox with the sprinkler & drives your dad wild, watching your pasty white skin soak up the sun.
When I brush your teeth you refuse to keep your front teeth together and always drink from the faucet when we’re done.
&& all of these are tiny little moments I know will soon be over or that I’ll forget, so I wanted to write them here.
I know you’re going to do amazing things.
All of you are.
But you’re more motivated than the bunch because you feel like they got a head start.
You’ll be smart like Jackson, kind like sissy, and strong like Joey.
You also tell daddy you’ll be as big as he is, & I hope that for you too.
I love you so much Jesse policeman Tucker burch.My forever baby.shoutout to BLUSHING BALLOONS for the balloon swag & COOKIE MONSTERS for the adorable cookies
MAJORRRR shoutout to LISA + her man, TOMMI from ECSO for making this the best day ever by surprising him with a visit from a REAL POLICE OFFICER! ! !policeman third birthday party birthday blue inspiration by jordan burchpoliceman third birthday party birthday blue inspiration by jordan burchpoliceman third birthday party birthday blue inspiration by jordan burchpoliceman third birthday party birthday blue inspiration by jordan burchpoliceman third birthday party birthday blue inspiration by jordan burchpoliceman third birthday party birthday blue inspiration by jordan burchpoliceman third birthday party birthday blue inspiration by jordan burchpoliceman third birthday party birthday blue inspiration by jordan burchpoliceman third birthday party birthday blue inspiration by jordan burchpoliceman third birthday party birthday blue inspiration by jordan burchpoliceman third birthday party birthday blue inspiration by jordan burchpoliceman third birthday party birthday blue inspiration by jordan burchpoliceman third birthday party birthday blue inspiration by jordan burchpoliceman third birthday party birthday blue inspiration by jordan burchpoliceman third birthday party birthday blue inspiration by jordan burch

 

M o r e   i n f o