I fell in love with Jason because of his family.
((his good looks had a tiny bit to do with it too)) but I swear, it was his family that stole my heart, before he did.
You see, growing up, I had the odds stacked against me. . .
I laugh when people think I am making this up or that I am somehow so “glad” I came from a tiny little shack in a low income neighborhood in west pensacola. .
because it plays up my “glow up” to where I am today. . .
In case you’re new here, I’ll make it quick >. > . > . >
My real dad went to prison for being a child predator when I was 4.
My mom was only 17 and let my grandparents raise me (and her, part time) until around the 4th grade.
My grandma never finished middle school.
My grandpa had his fair share of mishaps.
The only normal I knew was the southern baptist church I was raised in, until the ripe age of 12, when I moved to Pace.
& by then, I was practically grown > > >
& I will tell you, that moving to a small town full of plenty of college-educated parents who were still together,
some, living in gated neighborhoods, when you’re a kid from the wrong side of Pensacola with big dreams and confidence > > > made my new life, super complicated.
I was used to being a queen amongst the sunday-school bus riders.
here. . .
I was NO ONE with nothing, of substance.
I spent a lot of time hating my mom in the coming years. . .
(( and she didn’t deserve any of it ))
She had an incredibly horrific childhood and I was a product of the mess she was raised in.
I was a child born out of shame, of loss, sadness and child molestation.
I was a child, born from a child who wanted out of the life she had.
(this cycle would soon repeat its self)
But this place, and town. . .
it was new.
& I wanted what they all had.
kids who’d never had their siblings removed from them.
Or their dads.
kids who’d grown up with their moms. & their mom’s friends and kids,
like built in best friends. . .
kids who had both parents
& kids whose parents owned their own businesses and sponsored the baseball/football/basketball/cheerleading squads & teams.
What a FREAKING life > > >
#dearjason, had it.
& I loved him for it.
& while I don’t know everything about his parents early on, I know enough.
Enough to know they were polar opposites.
He was outgoing, athletic and HANDSOME.
She was quiet, a bit more on the nerdy side, but lovely.
He was smitten with her.
They got together. . .
& then worked hard as hell to make it work.
they did it all right.
sticking it out.
& here I am, the girl from so much broken-ness,
the fruitful recipient of all of their hard work.
I hope they know, how thankful I am for him.
& for them.
((I suppose that’s what this post is finally about after all))
I know it wasn’t easy.
But I also know there was so much good in there, that it’s still overflowing, to my own children. . . through their dad.
All of the things they did wrong, he now gets right.
All of the things they did right, he blossomed from
and I will forever be indebted to them, for him.
FORTY-ONE married years.
thanks for doing whatever it took, to get to where we all are today. . .
Jason is my dream come true, and our family is the greatest accomplishment, of my entire life.
and he wouldn’t be who he is, without who you both were too.
& though he is a man of VERY FEW, VERY VERY VERY FEW, TOO FEW ACTUALLY (words)
I am not.
& so while I am sorry this is a day late > > >
I am even sorrier for not writing it way sooner. . .
like, years and years ago.
to my in-laws . . .
love you both <3